Fall 2018: New Rhythm

Being separated from my Miami culture for an extended period of time definitely feels different, and it makes me appreciate it so much more. It’s going to take some time for me to get adjusted to a new rhythm, but I want to make sure that I challenge myself to push my limits to the furthest they can reach. Each week brings a new rhythm that I need to adjust to, but I think I’ve been identifying the flow quite well so far. Every person’s balance will look different and every person will have a different way of achieving that balance; I’m glad I have a good idea on what works for me. There’s going to be times where others might not understand or follow along with what the actions that I take in writing out my grad school experience, but that’s okay since this is my story and not anyone else's.

Grad school (all of life honestly) is a constant battle of positive and negative moments, a battle where achieving a balance between these two forces is important in order to fully absorb the experience that is out there. The concept that I keep in mind when it comes to this is yin and yang. There will be good within the bad and bad within the good. Light and dark, success and failures, dreams and nightmares, push and pull….. being able to connect with both sides of the flow is going to be important in order to navigate the journey and effectively grow from it. The month of October was filled with all these contrasting forces, and it reminded me of how the pace of things can change in an instant. I closed out the month with a lot of weight on my shoulders, but I also got stronger thanks to it all. I’ve gravitated heavily to the challenge and support theory in student affairs, where there needs to be a proper mix of guiding students through their growth/troubles, and then empowering them to tackle their challenges with a more independent growth mindset; I mention this theory because this is an idea that I’m making sure I practice, as well as preach. I’ve connected well with the opposing energies that come my way and I have been able to combine all these forces into an experience that allows me to thrive.

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Rap artist J. Cole once said “there’s beauty in the struggle, ugliness in the success” and this will serve as a constant reminder that the process isn’t going to be perfect all the time. Even though I had great thoughts coming in to the first week of November, the reality didn’t match up since I was bombarded with many things that needed to be handled. It felt a little empty celebrating life (birthday on Nov. 5th) but not being able to physically celebrate it with my loved ones back home. I was able to get lots of messages and warm wishes, but I noticed that I missed the physical side of celebration such as hugs and strong handshakes. Things got better as I got to reconnect with culture in the form of the IU African American Arts Institute, as I got to enjoy an incredible performance of song and dance that helped me feel so refreshed after feeling drained for so long. Something in the air shifted after I was able to connect with a culture that I truly admire, and the first signs of snow also made things feel more energizing. My relationship with my partner Melissa grew stronger as we embraced the distance that is present, and we reminded ourselves that our love is strong thanks to the foundation that we created.

With my first semester of grad school coming to a close, I’ve realized that this experience will be a mental battle more than anything. The academic portion of graduate school isn’t too complicated, but the responsibilities outside of it is what can be pressing. There’s going to be patterns of highs and lows, there will be moments where the work doesn’t stop, and there will be moments where I need to be okay with not finishing all my tasks at once. Everything that happens will take place for its certain reasons and it’ll all connect in a variety of ways to other events, I just need to trust the process but also recognize when the process needs to be challenged. As long as I take time to reflect on all the lessons that I come across, I’ll be able to experience all-around growth.

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The environment is different, the circumstances are different, everything is just different. Throughout all these shifts in the atmosphere, I was reminded to cherish the people that are important to me. I have been so focused on figuring out the flow of grad school (and I’m glad to say that it’s going well), but I also want to commit time to caring for the people that are in my corner. The meaningful connections that I have with friends and family keeps me going strong, so I need to make sure I’m dedicating time to genuine connections and not empty ones. Coming back home helped me feel refreshed, everything felt just right and things were flowing smoothly. Spending time with people who push me to go higher gave me that invigorating feeling that i was hoping for and I feel that I did exactly what I needed to do when I got back home. I felt loved, a kind of love that was genuine and one that didn’t feel empty. In the closing moments of the semester and the year, I re-committed to continuing to work to become the greatest version of myself and to cherishing the genuine connections that I have.